Sunday, October 25, 2009

Ahoy! More OBX, Matey!!!

What follows is an exact account of what happened to 11 young, innocent children in the greater regions of OBX during the late summer of 2009 when a certain pirate invades their village. His motives are unclear.

Captain Black Jack forced Jen the Wench to apply face makeup as he prepared to take over the house and carry away the unsuspecting youngsters. On that late afternoon, two of the children catch wind of a possible kidnapping and try to hide. Captain Black Jack makes his first appearance and chaos insues.

As he leaps over the galley gate, one of the poor children succumbs to ear piercing fear. Almost deafening the mother who tries so desperately to save him.

As the parents stand hopelessly by, the young children become entranced with the ruddy stranger and slowly are hypnotized by his promise of great treasure. The great pirate takes no time to celebrate his victory in the capture of his victims. He regales them with fantastic stories concerning "bad pirates" who live by the ocean and who are their only opposition to the treasure they seek. He leads them in the art of sword fighting.

As the transfer from child to fearsome pirate continues, Captain Black Jack gives the youngsters new names. King Pirate gives a mighty "ARGH!" to those who stand near in amazement.

Princess Silverfish also charms the crowd before heading off on the search for clues... and ultimately, treasure.

As the newbie pirates and their swarthy captain trek over the bridge, tensions begin to run high. Just over the dunes, lie four "bad pirates" whose aim is the thwart their efforts at retrieving the buried treasure.

VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is much work to be done. Silverfish, Moonbeam, Salty Dog and the others quickly uncover the treasure and head to the rendevous point.

Princess Moonbeam stashes her sword in the sand.

Night is falling as the children gaze into the sunset and dream of the day when they can all sleep on the same ship again.

The spell is broken and the bad pirates are transformed back into their good Daddy selves, while the children reunite with them for a moment frozen in time. The Mommies rejoice at the safe return of the children. Captain Black Jack roasts the Smoreos (trademark) Treasure over an open flame, while Jack Sparrow's family basks in the glow of victory.
As night settles over the ocean, music drifts over the sand and the families slowly shuffle back to the village to lift their glasses in tribute to the great Captain Black Jack. The End.

6 comments:

mini and brother said...

I would like to vote this the best blog post ever. (trademark) I'm cracking up.
Kel, you are so witty and you should think about writing a book, about us.

Jen said...

I second that, Katie!

And this is the first time I've been called a "wench" and been ok with it.

Kim F said...

great story! definitely needs to be put in print and remembered forever.

Carrie said...

It almost feels as though you blogged in current time ... because I could swear Miles was wearing that same outfit today? I here I thought you were like WEEKS behind :) So maybe the Disney pics will be up before February after all!

Robyn said...

And so ends one of my favorite stories ever. I love it. Thanks for posting and for capturing so much on video. That was really an incredible evening.

Kristi said...

Ah, the stuff memories are made of!